As a man thinketh...

Lately I've been asking the Lord for wisdom to raise my oldest. I remember telling J we only have 11 years to get Drew ready for the world and I feared the sharks would eat him alive. The Lord answered my prayers during a seminar we attended last night in which Dr. Robert Rohm explained the DISC personality types.

• D's are dominant, and want to lead and be productive. (Let's get the job done!)


• I's are inspiring, entertaining and talkative. (Are we having fun yet?)


• S's are supportive, sensitive and focused on relationships. (Can't we all just get along?)


• C's are cautious, analytical and detail oriented. (Cross your T's, dot your I's and mind your P's & Q's.)

J is cautious. You should have seen his eyes light up when he saw the words "quality" and "excellence" associated with his trait. His secondary trait is dominant. I'm split between dominant and supportive (which is a rare combination), but I'm mostly dominant (come on... my pseudonym is "Queen").

Jazzy is dominant and easy to parent because J and I "get" her. I always say she learned to talk early so she could boss us around.

Drew... Well, Drew thankfully isn't like us. But, I've been viewing his supportive personality exactly the way Dr. Rohm suggests I would view it. And in trying to motivate Drew to change traits I view as weaknesses, I have done several things Dr. Rohm says will de-motivate him. I am producing the opposite of what I want for my son.

The Bible says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." (Proverbs 18:21), and Dr. Rohm says we need to be careful to speak life, not death over our children. A few weeks ago I sought counsel from my aunt regarding my concerns and she said the same thing in a different way. Our children sense our thoughts about them. Our thoughts become their thoughts, and "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." (Proverbs 23:7). We must be mindful of our words and thoughts about our children.

Dr. Rohm touched on something else that has been on my heart lately. He said around 80% of school teachers are cautious or supportive and will tend to think there's something wrong with the dominant's who tend towards defiance and the inspiring's who can be overly energetic/distracted. He said one practitioner told him that out of 100 dominant's and inspiring's that were referred to her for treatment, only 3 had true disorders.

This is another reason I am against the trend toward labeling/medicating children. If we medicate all the boys who are stubborn as mules, can't sit still and live life on the edge - who will be our entrepreneurs, fire fighters and navy seals? Who will fight our nation's wars? We aren't all wired to be paper pushers and bean counters. Leave these kids alone! Or better yet, find a way to bottle that energy and sell it to me!!!

Anyway, back on topic, I encourage you to look at Dr. Rohm's materials to see if they can give you insight into conflicts or concerns you are having with your children.

I saw our family in so much of what Dr. Rohm said in his seminar. Me standing over Drew saying "hurry", which causes him to get flustered and move more slowly. J making plans for our trip and asking repeatedly "Should we stay at hotel x or hotel y?" Which takes me from supportive, "Whatever you choose is fine with me, dear" to dominant, "I couldn't care less where we stay. Just choose already!"

J is going to read this and get frustrated because I used the full name of the traits instead of the initials D, I, S and C. But I'm dominant and this is my blog...

Long live the Queen!