The Truth About Self-Esteem

The truth about self-esteem is that modern day kids have too much of it.

I realized this about my own son a few years ago. He was asking what the word "respect" meant, and I was trying to explain that respect is something you give someone who is more important than you. (I know, not the best explanation.)

So Andrew responds, "Well, no one is really more important than I am." And my little mommy radar said, "Hmm..."

I have noticed that when my son becomes pouty, moody, easily agitated and disrespectful, high self-esteem is often the root cause of it. I often have to remind Andrew that he is not entitled to have his way, that he is not above being corrected, and he is not so perfect that he can't make mistakes. The same is true for all of us.

I found it interesting that John Rosemond devotes a section of his book, Parenting By the Book, to the unbiblical concept of self-esteem. The Bible says we are to esteem others, and humble ourselves. In fact, Jesus, who was Lord of Lords and King of Kings, "esteemed himself not."

Rosemond states that high self-esteem produces an entitlement mentality, low self control and a criminal/sociopath mindset. He notes that individuals such as Adolf Hitler had such high self-esteem that they had no regard for others. While Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi willingly put others before themselves.

It so often seems we blame our children's poor behavior, discontendedness, and even depression on poor self-esteem when in fact the opposite might be true. Instead of pouring on the praise in an attempt to boost our children's self-esteem, perhaps we should teach them to stop thinking of themselves and think of others.