Although my mother grew up in Alabama during the civil rights era, she wasn't a part of the Civil Rights Movement. My grandma wouldn't let her children protest. Nobody wants their children to have hoses turned against them, yet somebody had to do it.
Somebody had to let their children walk into schools where they were being screamed at and spit on and had bottles hurled at them. Somebody had to let their children ride on buses that were being fire bombed.
And what of the early homeschool movement? There was a time when homeschooling was illegal. Families went into hiding. Fathers went to jail. Children were made to testify. What if these pioneers had sent their kids to school so as not to create waves? What if they acted as I do when the pediatrician asks his invasive questions.
Any guns in the home? "No sir, we don't own guns, sir."
Do you smoke? "Not a chance. Smoking is bad for you."
Does the baby have his own crib? "Yes sir. And there are only 2 adults in our home, and even though I homeschool, my son has lots of friends."
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like our pediatrician. He's a nice guy. And it's not that I don't have the right answers. We don't drink, smoke, own guns or co-sleep. I don't have anything to hide.
The problem is, it doesn't matter whether or not I have anything to hide. It is not my job to prove that I'm parenting up to our pediatrician's standards to avoid being reported to the State. It's my pediatricians job to look in my child's nose and ears and check his heartbeat. It's the state's job to prove I am guilty of a CRIME or stay out of my business.
I have heard stories online of people being investigated for refusing newborn eyedrops, vitamin K shots, and Hep B vaccinations. I have heard of people having to go through Gestational Diabetes training which they have attended with previous pregnancies so as not to be accused of negligence. It is not the parents job to prove we are not being negligent. It's the pediatrician's job to do what we tell him to do and the State's job to prove we are committing a crime or leave us alone.
I am sorry to be on a soapbox here, but I feel we're in dangerous territory. Every time I act for fear of being investigated, I contribute to the Nanny State.
Yes, I am protecting my children. But am I protecting my children's children? Am I protecting my great-grandchildren? What will the state have deemed negligent by then?
I didn't speak up when they came after the gun owners. I didn't speak up when they came after the non vaxers. I didn't speak up when they came for the homeschoolers. I didn't speak up when they came for the spankers. I didn't speak up when they came for the Christians. There was no one left to speak up when they came for me.
Bad paraphrase, but you get the point...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Yay, loved it.
Whatcha up to??? Haven't see you in an age...and I'm only SO good at blogging.
Are you back on the shed???
I didn't stay away as much as I wanted to, but I got alot accomplished and I'm pretty much back. Maybe we can get together again once the Holidays are over.
Great entry! I agree!
I feel a bit more secure knowing HSLDA is 1/2 mile away. LOL! But I still haven't taken my 11yo to the dr. this year for fear the invasive questions we might encounter (that she won't understand--she truly is an innocent).
Well said, and buy a gun just to tick off the doctors. Just make it one that your kids can't easily mess with (Model 870 shotgun is great--the sound alone scares of criminals if that's a fear, and it's hard to misuse), and it gives a great chance for teaching your kids not to freak out around firearms.
Got here from the Baylyblog. Thank you for speaking truth among all the lies.
I'm not sure what experiences you've had, but I'm confused as to how you've come to the conclusion that doctors are responsible for the state telling you how to parent your children. Unless you have a rotten pediatrician who is just out to get you, there is a method to the madness. The patient history is perhaps THE single most important part of a medical exam. Your pediatrician's job is NOT just to check your kid's ENT and heart or to do what you say. Yes, you are the parent and have a right to do as you please with your child's health care, but you have not gone to medical school and been trained to be a pediatrician. If you don't trust doctors, don't go to them. But all the questions you listed have to do with the health of your child, not your parenting skills. Your pediatrician is not guilty of asking improper questions, but is apparently guilty of telling you WHY he asks those questions. As a (future) eye doctor, there are circumstances in which I have to ask about your sexual practices, and without accurate answers, you could be misdiagnosed and end up blind or infertile. So if I see you in my office and ask you questions you don't think are appropriate (since you haven't been trained in health care), will you get mad and tell me it's none of my business b/c my job is to "do what you tell me" and only look at eyeballs? If I did that, I would quickly be out of a job and home. Don't get me wrong, I too hate that the state is becoming more and more invasive and has no right to tell us how to biblically rear our children. But before you "rant" as you say, please understand that doctors (with the few exceptions) are on your side. Don't jump to conclusions...you may not have all the information. "Walk a mile in their mocassins..."
Denver, thank you for your comments!
For me, the problem is not my pediatrician, it is that questions about how many adults live in my home or how many friends my children have are beyond the scope of a medical exam.
A few weeks ago I discussed this with a friend who just finished her residency. She shared her frustration about parents who would not leave the room so she could talk to their teenagers. She said these kids would not be honest if their parents were present, and that information disclosed in these private conversations would not be shared with the parents.
I think that is where this type of invasive questioning leads, and IMO, it is not okay. It is not a doctor's place to have private conversations with my childen, nor have information about what goes on in our home.
I know my friend loves children, and I do believe doctors have good intentions, but children are given by God to their parents - not their doctors.
I may not have medical training, but I believe a doctor can successfully monitor my children's height and weight without knowing whether or not we own guns. :)
Just a few thoughts...
it's not about a "private conversation" without you present. There may be critical information regarding a teen's health (ie sexual history, drug history) that the doctor must know that won't divulged if parents are present. And if the patient is under 18, the legal parent or guardian has a right to see the chart (although there may be gray area that may be left to the doctor's discretion). And if a kid reveals things to the doctor and not to a parent...is that the doctor's problem or the parent's for not having a good relationship with your kid? Now, I do not know you, but I suspect you are a wonderful parent and this would not be an issue anyway...so you have nothing to worry about :)
Also, did it ever occur to you that the doctor, in the best interest of the child, would volunteer information from this "private conversation" to the parent so that the parent, and not the doctor, could take care of it. Now again...in the case of Godly parents and children this would never need to be the case.
Regarding the specific questions, I don't know why your pediatrician asked about guns, but could it be that he wants to assess risk of hearing loss or the cause of some abnormal ear finding?
Also, what if the doctor is a Christian and the parents are not but through information in the medical exam can be a witness for Christ to the patient or the parents instead of being part of "The Nanny State"?
Again, I say, there is probably a method to the madness and your peds doc may only be guilty of not communicating well with you. If you don't understand why certain questions are asked, inquire about it. If he doesn't give you a reason, then maybe he didn't have a medical reason and is just being nosy and you should go to someone else!
I understand your sentiment and it's relieving to see that someone is involved and caring and actually BEING a parent!!!
Post a Comment